the one about the van

I have always thought that you can maintain your style and coolness during motherhood so long as you stayed away from these three things:



Well, let's just say my opinions have already started to change regarding the first two items. I mean, the coverage and comfort alone are just fantastic.

And, on Memorial Day, my husband brought home a brand new #3, and I did a jig of happiness.

Who am I? Who have I become? Why did I just do a mom-tastic touchdown dance in my driveway over a minivan?

As a mother of two small children with one on the way, I could only fight the van for so long. In fact, I went into the dealership fighting the van, almost to the point of tears, and I left the dealership, almost in tears, because I wanted the damn van that badly. 

So what exactly happened to me that day? I think I can sum it up in 5 key points.

1. Putting 3 car seats in a third-row SUV had me bending and flopping and sweating like an Olympic gymnast, only minus the whole Olympic gymnast body and flexibility and with a whole lot more grunting. And swearing.

2. There's like 15 cup holders in a van. At any given time, I could have 15 Diet Cokes, or 5 Diet Cokes and 10 Starbucks, or 7 Diet Cokes and 8 Starbucks...you get the idea. 

3. The side doors open by themselves. By themselves. I press a button, and they open like the sparkly gates of Heaven, or the automatic doors at Target. I press another button, and they close. By themselves. Do you know how much less I have to work when loading and unloading my children? Soon, I will be able to say, "Children, run toward the van, and load yourselves!" Oh, the sweetness of that day.

4. The rear storage is amazing, even with the third row up. It's deep...like coffin deep. And when I say coffin, I mean you can literally bury an obscene amount of Target purchases that you would rather be kept a secret (from your kids...or your husband), underneath the items and bags you actually aren't afraid of being seen. Just think of the possibilities. Secret candy stashes, secret Diet Coke stashes, secret shoe stashes. Coffin deep.

5. The second row can be left as a bench or bucket seats. By using the bucket seats, my two children cannot come close to touching each other. No poking, no grabbing, no yanking toys from each other. They are separated by a great and wonderful divide, and we are all happier that way. And with the middle seat clear, on road trips (where you are presumably not driving), you can live out all of your fantasies of being a pretty flight attendant. You can safely move about the cabin (maybe with a drink cart!) and do those fancy hand movements they always do. "Insert the clip into the buckle and pull to tighten." Just me?

These reasons don't even touch all the backup and side cameras, technology capabilities, or the fact that literally every person in the vehicle can control the heat and air. 

And Guys? It also has one of these.


That's right. I can now go all bus driver on them and tell them to sit down, keep their arms and legs inside, or stay behind the white line. Honda calls it a "conversation mirror," but let's call a spade a spade. It's a bus driver mirror, and it is awesome.

I mean, really, my only hang-up with it is I probably won't look all that cool pulling up to all those trendy bars and restaurants I frequent often. 

<<crickets>>

But I'll look like a bad ass in the preschool pick-up line.






3 comments

  1. Oh my gosh you did it. I guess welcome to the dark side. :-) I'm not letting Adam read this post. No. No no no. Congrats the new fun purchase.

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  2. You were one of the first people I thought of upon the purchase....given our thoughts about vans just the week before!

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  3. OMG..I am laughing so hard I'm crying. This is freaking great. Jayce is only 6 months old and I just asked Ben when we were having #3 so we could just get them all out of the way at once then be DONE. I think he died and was re-born. LMAO. I'm considering a van for our next purchase...if I had known that 2 months after we bought our new car that I would be pregnant with #2 I would have just bought the damn van to begin with. :)

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